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The Pencil: Forgiveness, Love, and Healing

Victor: “Give me your pencil!”

Me: “No. Get your own pencil.”

Victor: “Give me your dang pencil…NOW!“

I held my brand new Ticonderoga No. 2 pencil near my heart, pronated my right shoulder and created the illusion of a protective space between my brother and me. Adamant, Victor reached across the dining room table and harshly grabbed the pencil out of my hand, scratching the top of my hand with his sharp fingernail.

A physical shuffle ensued. At the blink of an eye, my petite little frame crashed through the glass of the kitchen door. I opened my eyes and looked around. My feet were resting on the kitchen floor and my upper body was lying outside, on the hard cold concrete of the back patio floor. My body was lying in a puddle of bloody glass shards. Excruciating pain pulsated from my left back side.

Once my innocent childlike mind comprehended my predicament, I began to cry. Through my many tears, I looked over at my brother and telepathically asked him, “Why? It hurts. Why? “

I could see through my brother’s energetic field. Great shame and guilt vibrated and surrounded his energy field. Then, with downcast eyes a flood of tears cascaded down Victor’s soft brown cheeks, onto the patches of dirt on the ground.

I returned home from the hospital with ten stitches patching together the tender skin of my left butt cheek. My physical, emotional and spiritual energies were spent. Exhausted, I lay down on the weathered living room sofa. Slowly and sheepishly, my brother walked up to me. I looked up at him and into his eyes. I could see and feel his pain.

Positioning himself close to me, Victor dropped to his knees. Averting my gaze and with bated breath my brother said, “Pat, I’m so sorry I hurt you. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” “It’s OK. It was an accident. I forgive you.“, I said. Victor slowly smiled, turned on the television and together we tranced out over an episode of Lost in Space.

Initially, having been pushed through a glass door was physically, mentally and emotionally traumatic for me. Although, immediately following the incident, I healed. I healed quickly and within days I was back on my purple Schwinn bicycle riding laps around my neighborhood. Why did I heal quickly? It was The power of love and forgiveness that healed me quickly.

I was able to forgive my brother for pushing me through the glass door. I also forgave my ego for coveting a pencil. I forgave myself for allowing other parts of me to get involve in a physical altercation with my older brother. Ultimately, it was pure unconditional love that facilitated my prompt healing.

As a child, I did not comprehend the power of forgiveness and unconditional love. Now, I understand and feel grateful for this understanding as it is helped me continue to forgive, love unconditionally and heal…literally and metaphorically.

What about you? Do you have the capacity to forgive and love unconditionally? When you are metaphorically pushed through life’s glass doors, by those near and dear to your heart, can you forgive and love unconditionally? For your healing and peace of mind…I certainly hope so! 💞

With love, Patricia

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